Candles

Twenty years from now, the grandchildren of Anime Hell will show this video.

Besides lighting the other candles, the shamash is allowed to do more secular work. It's a handy little helper around the house. If you're going to be a douche and light a cigar off a menorah, make sure you use the shamash. If I hear you've done otherwise, I will come to your house and beat you with a chain.

Shamash is also the name of a Sumerian sun god. So there.

Today's advent lump is a candle. My life's actions are dictated by chocolate.

In the meantime, here's how to put real candles on your heathen tree. You all are such pagans, celebrating an evergreen in the middle of winter like that.

Vince Guaraldi Trio - "O Tannenbaum"