10: Life is sexually transmitted.
9: Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
8: Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
7: Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks - they'll bother me instead.
6: Some people are like a Slinky - not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.
5: Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals, dying of nothing.
4: All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
3: Why does a slight tax increase cost you $800.00, and a substantial tax cut saves you $30.00?
2: In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
And The Number 1 Thought:
1: Life is like a jar of Jalapeno peppers - what you do today might burn your ass tomorrow.
PS: Don't worry too much about old age - it doesn't last long.
HEH. Hat tip to Jerry for sending.
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