Actually, I believe the real shirt may in fact say "Destroy all monsters!" but whatever. Survival Tobita ran a tiny, TINY, Japanese indy wrestling federation called Saitama Pro in which every month he'd fight a different evil monster which was set to threaten Japan's stability if not for his vigilance. Now, NON BELIEVERS may want to note that just about all of these monsters are actually another guy Naoshi Sano in some outlandish getup, but THEY'RE MONSTERS YOU HEAR ME?!
Here's some of the many foes Survival Tobita has faced off against. First, Ape Virgon, a monkey who'd hump the ringpost and has an off the top rope manuever that is just TOO DEADLY to spoil:
Then there's Automatic Warrior. I have no idea what he's supposed to be, but he has a deadly sort of "chain with a sawblade at the end" thing.
Notice that there's no ring. Unless invited to some other federation, rings were never used because Saitama Pro was too tiny to afford the cost of owning one. Instead, all battles are conducted on tatami mats inside high school gymnasiums, WHICH IS WHERE THE FRONT LINES OF THE BATTLEFIELD ALWAYS ARE.
Bauxite Medium carried two large metal boxes, moved at a snail's pace, and probably couldn't actually see, but that didn't mean he wasn't a MENACE.
And finally, there's Survival Tobita's most dangerous (and well-known) adversary: Mokujin Ken, aka Ken the Box. Despite not being able to actually enter inside of a ring, his devastating "Swinging Branch Punch" (which looks remarkably similar to the monkey dance) is so effective that even Survival Tobita is powerless:
CAN ANYONE CHOP THIS BIG TREE DOWN? Personally, even though Mokujin Ken is Survival Tobita's deadliest adversary, I'd say this terrible monster was the most terrifying:
I made encodes of all these "matches" (except for the one against the cosplay masker since I don't have that) to send to Phil, but Phil hasn't been answering his emails for the last few weeks. Check your inbox, man!
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